Pricing Plans

Choose your termination frequency (it's all free, we're not monsters)

Basic

$ 0 /month

For the casually unemployed

  • ✨ Up to 10 firings per month
  • 🎲 Random firing reasons
  • 🔗 Custom URL parameters (n & c)
  • 📱 Mobile & desktop support
  • 😢 Unlimited tears (not included)
  • 📦 Zero severance package

* for educational purposes only

HR's Choice

Layoff

$ 99.99 /month

Your severance package at work

  • 🚀 Up to 16,000 layoffs per day
  • ⚡ Priority firing queue
  • 🎯 Personalized termination messages
  • 📊 Layoff analytics dashboard*
  • 💼 Virtual exit interview
  • 🎁 Complimentary "It's not you, it's us" card
  • ☕ Coffee machine access (for 2 more weeks)
  • 📧 Mass firing email templates

* analytics show only despair

Enterprise

$ ??? /month

When layoffs become a lifestyle

Really? 🤔

You need MORE than 16,000 layoffs per day?

Ok, we're not here to judge... but we're totally judging you 👀

Let's get in touch and discuss your... unique situation.

  • ♾️ Unlimited firings (oof)
  • 🏢 Dedicated account manager
  • 🎭 Custom firing reasons
  • 🔐 Private firing portal
  • 📞 24/7 termination support
  • 🎪 On-site layoff ceremonies
  • 🏆 "Employer of the Year" trophy (satirical)
  • 💳 Corporate expense account tears

** seriously though, take a break

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this actually real?

No. This is satire. Everything is free. We're just making fun of corporate layoff culture.

Do I need to pay?

Absolutely not. The only thing you're paying is attention to how absurd layoff season has become.

Can I actually get 16,000 firings per day?

You can click as many times as you want. We won't stop you. But maybe... consider therapy?